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Age Jokes
Grandpa and the IRS
The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney. The auditor said, ‘Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure the IRS finds that believable.’ I’m... »
An Old Joke…
A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?'' »
Will I Live to be 80?
I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age. A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?" He asked, "Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?" "Oh no,"... »
GRANDPA’S ON THE PORCH AGAIN
Man, everyone on my email list has a one-track mind ; ) A man came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed his grandfather sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down. “Grandpa, what are you doing? Your weenie is out in the wind for... »
Biker Bar in Florida
I have family and friends in Florida, but so far as I know, none of them drive their “hoverounds” to the bar. Looks like a good idea to me, frankly. »
Stupid Funny Saturdays: Old Man Jail
I’ve decided to put all the funny emails that I couldn’t decide whether they were actually funny or not on Saturdays. The people who sent them to me certainly thought they were funny, so maybe they’ll tickle your funny bones, too. Humor is an odd thing and seems to be particular to... »
Speeding Elderly Couple
Still no visits from Afghanistan. This joke won’t get them over, for sure… An elderly couple was driving cross-country, and the woman was driving. She gets pulled over by the highway patrol. The officer says, “Ma’am, did you know you were speeding?” The woman turns to her husband and asks, “What did he say?” The old man... »
HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU’RE OLD AND DON’T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.
George Phillips, an elderly man, from Meridian, Mississippi, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in... »
THE OLD PROSPECTOR
I think we’ll all agree that this “parable” teaches two very valuable lessons. An old prospector shuffled into town leading an old tired mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town to clear his parched throat. He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood... »
Drafting Guys over 60
Kind of curmudgeonly; kind of funny; kind of accurate… New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60! I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I’m too old to track down terrorists. You can’t be older than 42 to join the military. They’ve got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds... »