Redneck Medical Terms
As a redneck, I really have to object to this…
> Benign – What you be, after you be eight.
> Artery – The study of paintings
> Bacteria – Back door to cafeteria
> Barium – what doctors do when patients die
> Cesarean section – a neighborhood in Rome
> Cat scan – searching for kitty
> Cauterize – made eye contact with her
> Colic – a sheep dog
> coma- a punctuation mark
> D & C – Where Washington is
> Dilate – to live long
> Enema – Not a friend
> Fester – quicker than someone else
> Fibula – a small lie
> Genital – a non-Jewish person
> GI series – world series of military baseball
> Hangnail – what you hang your coat on
> Impotent – distinguished, well-known
> Labor pain – getting hurt at work
> medical staff – a doctor’s cane
> Morbid – a higher offer
> Nitrates – cheaper than day rates
> Node – I knew it
> Outpatient – a person who has fainted
> Pap Smear – A fatherhood test
> Pelvis – second cousin to Elvis
> Post Operative – a letter carrier
> Recovery room – place to do upholstery
> Rectum – darn near killed him
> Secretion – hiding something
> Seizure – a Roman emperor
> Tablet – a small table
> Terminal Illness – getting sick at the airport
> Tumor – one plus one more
> Urine – opposite of you’re out
> Varicose – nearby / close by
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