TGIF–Clean Jokes
The vast majority of the jokes here are clean, if not somewhat demented, but here are some extra, soap sudsy, clean jokes for a Friday. You want to always be extra good on Fridays. If God is going to strike you dead, that can wait for a Monday…
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother,
‘Why is the bride dressed in white?”
The mother replied, ‘Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.’
The child thought about this for a moment then said, ‘So why is the groom wearing black?’
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Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says,
‘My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.’
The second boy says, ‘That’s nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on piece of paper,
he calls it a song, they give him $100.’
The third boy says, ‘I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper,
he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!’
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An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers.
In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote,
‘They wouldn’t take me out while I was alive, I don’t want them to take me out when I’m dead.’
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A police recruit was asked during the exam,
‘What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?’
He answered, ‘Call for backup.’
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A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to ‘Honor thy father and thy mother,’ she asked,
‘Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?’
Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, ‘Thou shall not kill.’
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Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong preaching on the devil.
One said to the other, ‘What do you think about all this Satan stuff?’
The other boy replied, ‘Well, you know how Santa turned out.
It’s probably just your Dad.’
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